Blog on the Lillypad
Friday, November 12, 2004
The IFBx Church quiz! (for entertainment purposes only, of course)
Is your fundamentalist church soundly preaching and obeying the Bible, or are you off in Wacko IFBx fantasies that are unscriptural and dangerous to the faith? Take this quiz to find out:
SCORE
0 – 10 points: You've got a good thing going in terms of the pastor knowing the Bible and avoiding faddish topics. Can't say anything else about your situation, but some of the right things are definitely in place.
11-19 points: The pastor has some definite blind spots. Maybe they are unavoidable, or maybe he will grow out of them, or maybe he needs to be more informed about the reality of Salvation in Christ, Church discipline, or minding his own business.
20-29 points: Well, the yahoo factor is climbing. Your church teeters on the edges of being IFBx, or it already is. There are real problems in the pastor's views on Christ's power to save us to the uttermost, and he may be harder on the congregation than he is on himself. Beware of the dangers of "entitlement" in the office of pastor.
30-39 points: Wow, your church may be IFBx, and while there is a chance nobody is going to get seriously abused, there is as great a chance that nobody is going to learn Christ.
40-49 points. Your church is IFBx. The errors are so great that an intervention is needed to address errors and problems with the pastor. At the very least, the pastor has missed the boat on what is required for solid Christian preaching that teaches a congregation the Word of God and the Salvation that we have in Christ.
50 points or higher. Congratulations! You are in Wacko IFBx land, where the myths of the supremacy of the pastor (or other pastors) have obscured the truths of the Scripture. This guy doesn't even have a Biblical view of right and wrong, let alone of the Lord Jesus Christ.
THE POINT BREAKDOWN
THE SELF-AGGRANDIZING IFBx PASTOR Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
5, 6, 11
12, 13, 14
16, 25, 32,
38, 39
If your total score from just these questions is 20 - 49, your pastor has some big ego issues and may view the church as his personal enterprise. There is a danger that he does not recognize that every member of the congregation belongs to Christ and must be answered for to Christ.
If your total score from just these questions is 50 or greater, your pastor is probably IFBx wacko. You ought to seriously think about the Biblical role of the pastor vs. what this guy is teaching and preaching about himself. And chances are, he includes himself in the sermons quite a bit. Remember, the pastor is in place to feed the flock of God and care for them. If his attention is more fixed on your responsibility to him, he has an unbiblical view of his role.
THE DUMB AS A BAG OF HAMMERS IFBx PASTOR Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
8, 9, 10
12, 19, 21,
27, 28, 38, 39
If your total score from just these questions is 20 - 49, your pastor may have some huge gaps in his grasp of theology and the Bible. Maybe he will grow into a more knowledgeable man, or maybe not. He is probably more influenced by what powerful men or current fads say than what his own knowledge of the Bible and history of Christianity can tell him.
If your total score from just these questions is 50 or greater, your pastor is probably IFBx wacko with the added quality of being as dumb as an anvil. (By the way, if you scored 50 for this, AND your pastor calls himself "Doctor", just add another 100 points to your total score.) It seems unlikely to impossible that you are learning Scripture from this man. Instead, he is probably feeding out a cobbled up system of legalistic garbage, adages from one of his current heros, and stuff he heard from other sermons, political right wing mandates, as well as a lot of stories from sports history.
THE MAN WITH BAD, UNBIBLICAL MORALS Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
14, 24, 30,
31, 32, 34,
35, 37, 38
If your total score from just these questions is 12-22, your pastor may be ethically clueless. He probably needs to rethink his values in the light of Scripture, at the very least.
If your total score from just these questions is 23 - 49, your pastor has probably fallen into the net of situation ethics and is not acting in obedience to what Christ taught.
If your total score from these questions is 50 or higher, you should recognize that if you or a family member were to be maliciously or criminally harmed in your church (assault, theft, stalking, etc), your pastor's record indicates that he would probably NOT do the Biblically right thing. If this is true, than you are personally at risk in your church, and the members of your family are also at risk.
And remember, readers, this quiz is for entertainment purposes only!
Is your fundamentalist church soundly preaching and obeying the Bible, or are you off in Wacko IFBx fantasies that are unscriptural and dangerous to the faith? Take this quiz to find out:
If, in your church,
1. There are one to three members of the pastoral staff, a board of deacons, but no session of elders. Award yourself 5 points
2. There are no African Americans among the membership or regular visitors. Award yourself 5 points
3. Your pastor's wife has bouffy or Grand Ol Opry style hair. Award yourself 1 point
4. The deacon's wives have bouffy or Grand Ol Opry style hair. Award yourself 1 Point for each head of hair.
5. A building or meeting room has been named after your pastor or former pastor who is still living and is less than 70 years old. Award yourself 5 points.
6. There is no session of elders, but membership is over 200 and members of the pastor's family are in senior church staff positions. Award yourself 10 points.
If Your Pastor,
7. Uses folksy words like "gloryland" instead of theologically accurate terms, from the pulpit. Award yourself 1 point
8. Cannot name ten Christian martyrs accurately from history, apart from the martyrs named in Scripture. Award yourself 1 point. If you don't know if he can or not, just skip this question.
9. Cannot name five Christian martyrs accurately from history, apart from the martyrs named in Scripture. Award yourself 5 more points. If you don't know if he can or not, just skip this question.
10. Cannot name five Christian martyrs accurately from history, even including the martyrs named in Scripture. Award yourself 5 more points. If you don't know if he can or not, just skip this question.
11. Holds both of his lapels with his head up while preaching. (Holding both lapels while looking down does not count. Stroking his lapels does not count either, and holding only one lapel does not count.) Award yourself 1 point.
12. Talks at length about football during the sermon. Award yourself 5 points.
13. Calls himself and signs himself as "Doctor," even though he has only an honorary doctorate. Award yourself 3 points.
14. Calls himself and signs himself as "Doctor," even though he has only an honorary doctorate, and his doctorate has been awarded to him by his own school and/or church. Award yourself 7 more points.
15. Has ever declared that you must dress a certain way or cut or wear your hair a certain way to "be right with God". Award yourself 10 points
16. Has preached on loyalty to the preacher as a vital necessity of "being right with God." Award yourself 50 points
17. Habitually tells jokes while preaching. Award yourself 1 point
18. More than once in a year, advocates corporal punishment from the pulpit as the only proper way to raise any child, anywhere. Award yourself 5 points.
19. Makes positive references to books or sermons by Jack Hyles or Tim Lahaye or Rick Warren and has never referenced any book or sermon by John Bunyan or Charles Haddon Spurgeon. Award yourself 0 points if you have been attending the church for a year or less. Award yourself 3 points if you have been attending the church for one to five years. Award yourself 5 points if you have been attending the church for more than five years.
20. Uses the terms "go soul winning" and "get saved" more than the terms "repent and believe" in sermons. Award yourself 10 points
21. Teaches that the good works that a Christian performs causes the Christian to be sanctified. Award yourself 50 points
22. Has ever used a sermon illustration in which a gypsy boy dies (Award yourself 1 point), an impoverished child of a coal miner dies (add another point), a little golden haired child of either gender dies (add another point). Award yourself 1 point per corpse.
23. Has ever devoted an entire sermon on who to vote for as your Christian duty. Award yourself 5 points
24. Has had Jack Hyles or Dave Hyles preach, teach, or speak since 1993. Award yourself 10 points
25. Has ever used the term "out from under the umbrella of God's protection" in the context of a serious warning regarding obedience to the pastor or membership in the church. Award yourself 50 points
26. Has ever used the term "out from under the umbrella of God's protection" in the context of a serious warning regarding any other relationship to authority. 20 points
27. Has ever gone to Pastor's school in Hammond Indiana without regretting it later. Award yourself 10 points.
28. Has ever insisted in a sermon that King James was a godly man. Award yourself 10 points
29. Has ever blamed the arrest of a church member or church officer or Fundamentalist preacher accused of child abuse or perversion on a liberal media or a God-hating legal system. Award yourself 50 points
30. Has ever devoted an entire Sunday sermon to dress standards as a means of "being right with God." Award yourself 5 points
31. Has never preached that a husband must love his wife without making the husband's love conditional upon the wife's submissiveness. Award yourself 10 points
32. From the pulpit, talks more about your sinfulness than his own sinfulness. Award yourself 20 points
33. From the pulpit, has never mentioned himself repenting and seeking the Lord concerning his own sinfulness or a weighty matter that was too great for him to deal with. Award yourself 20 points
34. Has ever told a person, in person, via e-mail, via snail mail, or through a sermon, to shove it. Award yourself 20 points
35. Has ever, in person, via e-mail, via snail mail, or through a sermon, used profanity in calling another person names. Award yourself 20 points
36. Nobody on the church pastoral or eldership session visits all the families of all the bus kids. Award yourself 20 points.
37. The pastor justifies bad behavior on his part based on how others have behaved. Award yourself 20 points.
38. Has ever misrepresented or misquoted Scripture in order to win an argument. Award yourself 10 points.
39. Can describe the way a gun operates, how to take it apart, clean it, put it back together and/or aim/fire it in greater detail than he can describe the theology of the book of Romans. Award yourself 20 points.
SCORE
0 – 10 points: You've got a good thing going in terms of the pastor knowing the Bible and avoiding faddish topics. Can't say anything else about your situation, but some of the right things are definitely in place.
11-19 points: The pastor has some definite blind spots. Maybe they are unavoidable, or maybe he will grow out of them, or maybe he needs to be more informed about the reality of Salvation in Christ, Church discipline, or minding his own business.
20-29 points: Well, the yahoo factor is climbing. Your church teeters on the edges of being IFBx, or it already is. There are real problems in the pastor's views on Christ's power to save us to the uttermost, and he may be harder on the congregation than he is on himself. Beware of the dangers of "entitlement" in the office of pastor.
30-39 points: Wow, your church may be IFBx, and while there is a chance nobody is going to get seriously abused, there is as great a chance that nobody is going to learn Christ.
40-49 points. Your church is IFBx. The errors are so great that an intervention is needed to address errors and problems with the pastor. At the very least, the pastor has missed the boat on what is required for solid Christian preaching that teaches a congregation the Word of God and the Salvation that we have in Christ.
50 points or higher. Congratulations! You are in Wacko IFBx land, where the myths of the supremacy of the pastor (or other pastors) have obscured the truths of the Scripture. This guy doesn't even have a Biblical view of right and wrong, let alone of the Lord Jesus Christ.
THE POINT BREAKDOWN
THE SELF-AGGRANDIZING IFBx PASTOR Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
5, 6, 11
12, 13, 14
16, 25, 32,
38, 39
If your total score from just these questions is 20 - 49, your pastor has some big ego issues and may view the church as his personal enterprise. There is a danger that he does not recognize that every member of the congregation belongs to Christ and must be answered for to Christ.
If your total score from just these questions is 50 or greater, your pastor is probably IFBx wacko. You ought to seriously think about the Biblical role of the pastor vs. what this guy is teaching and preaching about himself. And chances are, he includes himself in the sermons quite a bit. Remember, the pastor is in place to feed the flock of God and care for them. If his attention is more fixed on your responsibility to him, he has an unbiblical view of his role.
THE DUMB AS A BAG OF HAMMERS IFBx PASTOR Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
8, 9, 10
12, 19, 21,
27, 28, 38, 39
If your total score from just these questions is 20 - 49, your pastor may have some huge gaps in his grasp of theology and the Bible. Maybe he will grow into a more knowledgeable man, or maybe not. He is probably more influenced by what powerful men or current fads say than what his own knowledge of the Bible and history of Christianity can tell him.
If your total score from just these questions is 50 or greater, your pastor is probably IFBx wacko with the added quality of being as dumb as an anvil. (By the way, if you scored 50 for this, AND your pastor calls himself "Doctor", just add another 100 points to your total score.) It seems unlikely to impossible that you are learning Scripture from this man. Instead, he is probably feeding out a cobbled up system of legalistic garbage, adages from one of his current heros, and stuff he heard from other sermons, political right wing mandates, as well as a lot of stories from sports history.
THE MAN WITH BAD, UNBIBLICAL MORALS Now, go back and total your score from just these questions:
14, 24, 30,
31, 32, 34,
35, 37, 38
If your total score from just these questions is 12-22, your pastor may be ethically clueless. He probably needs to rethink his values in the light of Scripture, at the very least.
If your total score from just these questions is 23 - 49, your pastor has probably fallen into the net of situation ethics and is not acting in obedience to what Christ taught.
If your total score from these questions is 50 or higher, you should recognize that if you or a family member were to be maliciously or criminally harmed in your church (assault, theft, stalking, etc), your pastor's record indicates that he would probably NOT do the Biblically right thing. If this is true, than you are personally at risk in your church, and the members of your family are also at risk.
And remember, readers, this quiz is for entertainment purposes only!
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Thanks to our Veterans!
Today (11/11) is Veterans Day! It's a good day to stop and remember the sacrifices that so many have made to keep the rest of us free. Let's pray that the American military always stays on the side of liberty.
My late father was a Fireman First Class aboard the USS Pennsylvania at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked. I remember only one instance when he spoke about it. I was only about seven, so even though I knew he was talking about something very important, I didn't understand his story. I just remember that my older brothers and sisters asked him a lot of questions, and it seemed tremendously important o understand. But I couldn't create in my mind a picture of what he was describing.
That's probably still true for those of us who have never been in a real firestorm.
Today (11/11) is Veterans Day! It's a good day to stop and remember the sacrifices that so many have made to keep the rest of us free. Let's pray that the American military always stays on the side of liberty.
My late father was a Fireman First Class aboard the USS Pennsylvania at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked. I remember only one instance when he spoke about it. I was only about seven, so even though I knew he was talking about something very important, I didn't understand his story. I just remember that my older brothers and sisters asked him a lot of questions, and it seemed tremendously important o understand. But I couldn't create in my mind a picture of what he was describing.
That's probably still true for those of us who have never been in a real firestorm.
The NaNoWriMo word count
If you are participating in the National Novel Writing Month Contest, then your word count by the end of the day today needs to be 18,334 for you to be on schedule to make the 50,000 word goal.
If you are participating in the National Novel Writing Month Contest, then your word count by the end of the day today needs to be 18,334 for you to be on schedule to make the 50,000 word goal.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
New Uproar on the FFF
A couple days ago, still refusing to e-mail me privately, Chris Farris posted a public and loud call to me to accept things the way they are. I told him to e-mail me as I had asked months ago. He did not, and his brother Jonathan Farris posted a rebuke to me (a typical ploy of the Farrises), so I posted the Biblical reasons that Christians are not to have Christian fellowship with disobedient and unrepentant professors of the faith, especially those who reject repentance for gross error and open defiance of Scripture. Here it is, in part:
Tim Lee chipped in. He's still pretty angry over my constant documentation of these abuses and my documentation over his amazing insistence that God would fail to give him grace (or that he would fail to receive it) if a member of his family were harmed (posting this in the presence of those who have been sexually abused and those who have children who were sexually abused, with no regard for their struggles---which are real, whereas his was a self-indulgent, chest-thumping, blubbering fantasy.) Tim insists that Chris Farris owes me nothing.
True. Chris Farris owes God repentance and his church restitution. The only reason the Farrises approach me is to silence me either by insults and intimidation or by grand standing attempts to pretend to apology. But Tim Lee is right on that front. If that church leadership repented and sought the Lord, I would document it. The fact that they take my objections to their sin as a personal insult is just part of that same enormous vanity that prevents them from repenting for disobeying Scripture.
The truth is, I don't hate drug pushers or even have a personal grudge against them, but I do my best to keep them out of my neighborhood and have them put in jail. And I don't hate the Farrises or feel much personal emotion about them. But they need to be out of church office because they have disqualified themselves from it. It's allegiance to the Scripture and concern for the innocent and vulnerable that prompts people to want idolators out of the pulpit.
But it is true, the Farrises owe me nothing. They owe God their repentance, and if they would repent, they would bring forth the fruits of repentance, and everybody would see those fruits.
SO today I got an e-mail from Keith Call. Keith is a lurker on the forum who occasionally sends me his scathing assessments of the IFBx crowd. Today, and I'm not sure which post triggered his response, he commented on Guy Beaumont, aka BAPTIST:
The reference to the Stockholm Syndrome intrigued me, because I have heard it linked to IFBx-cultism before. I want to write more about it, but don't have time right now.
A couple days ago, still refusing to e-mail me privately, Chris Farris posted a public and loud call to me to accept things the way they are. I told him to e-mail me as I had asked months ago. He did not, and his brother Jonathan Farris posted a rebuke to me (a typical ploy of the Farrises), so I posted the Biblical reasons that Christians are not to have Christian fellowship with disobedient and unrepentant professors of the faith, especially those who reject repentance for gross error and open defiance of Scripture. Here it is, in part:
I will not have peace with you until you make peace with God.
Your church leadership has engaged in idolatry, from which it has not repented.
Your church leadership openly defied the Scriptural mandate for purity in church office by bringing a divorced man with a history or violence and rampant adultery onto church staff.
Your church leadership hid that man's sin when he was once again caught, and refused to bring him before the congregation for biblical discipline.
Your church leadership passed him to another unwitting church congregation.
You have openly advocated the pastorates of disobedient, ignorant, and wrathful man in complete disregard for God's Word and the laws laid down in Scripture for the office of elder.
Your behavior has been deceitful, spiteful, petty, and even vulgar. You have not changed.
You are unfit for the office you claim; your father is unfit, and your brother is unfit. You will lead that flock into shame again because you continue to embrace shame and disobnedience. I plan to continue to document your disobedience, and I plan to continue to speak on behalf of those victims of Dave Hyles that you want to remain forgotten.
Tim Lee chipped in. He's still pretty angry over my constant documentation of these abuses and my documentation over his amazing insistence that God would fail to give him grace (or that he would fail to receive it) if a member of his family were harmed (posting this in the presence of those who have been sexually abused and those who have children who were sexually abused, with no regard for their struggles---which are real, whereas his was a self-indulgent, chest-thumping, blubbering fantasy.) Tim insists that Chris Farris owes me nothing.
True. Chris Farris owes God repentance and his church restitution. The only reason the Farrises approach me is to silence me either by insults and intimidation or by grand standing attempts to pretend to apology. But Tim Lee is right on that front. If that church leadership repented and sought the Lord, I would document it. The fact that they take my objections to their sin as a personal insult is just part of that same enormous vanity that prevents them from repenting for disobeying Scripture.
The truth is, I don't hate drug pushers or even have a personal grudge against them, but I do my best to keep them out of my neighborhood and have them put in jail. And I don't hate the Farrises or feel much personal emotion about them. But they need to be out of church office because they have disqualified themselves from it. It's allegiance to the Scripture and concern for the innocent and vulnerable that prompts people to want idolators out of the pulpit.
But it is true, the Farrises owe me nothing. They owe God their repentance, and if they would repent, they would bring forth the fruits of repentance, and everybody would see those fruits.
SO today I got an e-mail from Keith Call. Keith is a lurker on the forum who occasionally sends me his scathing assessments of the IFBx crowd. Today, and I'm not sure which post triggered his response, he commented on Guy Beaumont, aka BAPTIST:
He [Guy Beaumont] snipes and cuts and berates, then announces that none of us should take the forum "too seriously," then claims to be praying for us. He hurts us because he loves us. Like Hyles, he chastises and humiliates his circle of influence because he's "investing" in us. Such tender pastoral care.
And this works for certain "sheep." As I've commented before, it's
essentially the Stockholm Syndrome, in which the captive falls in love
with his captors.
Is it any wonder that HAC and its ilk are nuthouses? Whose psyche
could survive this?
The reference to the Stockholm Syndrome intrigued me, because I have heard it linked to IFBx-cultism before. I want to write more about it, but don't have time right now.
Another reader (and her brother) write
A reader who forwards the daily episode of SECRET RADIO to her brother each day writes, "Thanks again for your work on Secret Radio. Haven't missed a day's installment since I found it."
And her brother adds, "Each one seems to be better than the next. I want to get
a hardcopy of this all when she finishes! This is pure gold."
A reader who forwards the daily episode of SECRET RADIO to her brother each day writes, "Thanks again for your work on Secret Radio. Haven't missed a day's installment since I found it."
And her brother adds, "Each one seems to be better than the next. I want to get
a hardcopy of this all when she finishes! This is pure gold."
 | Even Solomon in all his glory...
One of the women at work has a calendar of hummingbirds. Yesterday it caught my eye, and I stopped and stared at the brilliant, iridescent glory of a frilled coquet hummingbird. It weighs about as much as a half dollar, and is crowned by a gold crest on the front of its head, its body brilliant green, with purple and azure tail feathers in a short, broad fan. All perfectly framed in this ultra-lightweight body with sparkling eye and swift-beating little heart. |
How many kings and princes have decked themselves out in similar array and succeeded only in appearing luxurious, self indulgent, and vulgar. Honestly, God will bestow glory where He sees fit, and He has arrayed these tiniest mites of creation with a splendour that no level of office or weight of gold in human exchange can attain.
Claire, the woman who owns the calendar, was surpised when I suddenly exclaimed, "How can anybody believe that such a creature evolved? If we were all lumpy things with fangs and claws, I could see how people could believe it, but what kind of evolution can produce this beauty in something so tiny? Look at that detail!" Claire didn't contradict me, and I think she respected my heartfelt wonder at this small speck of intricate and complex beauty. We looked closely at the tale feathers and found at least five shades of colore that ranged from a royal purple to deep azure.
But how, I thought, can man believe that accidental destiny ever formed this ornate and short-lived bird? And why would a system allegedly based on survival and efficiency spawn such a range of diveristry within one species? for hummingbirds are many, and varied.
An instance of Evangelicals missing the point---AGAIN!
Somebody named George Barna has concluded that the movie, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST has had only a limited evangelical impact. How like Evangelicals that even a great work of art is evaluated for its evangelism! For decades, Evangelicals have run after many forms of expression and every latest fad to try to pin it to Christianity and thereby make Christianity more pertinent, more timely, more young and daring and extremely cool. In this massive effort they have, of course, obscured the very timeliness and pertinence of Christianity. When the greatest doctrines of human existence, and that which is spread across the heavens in bold and unending declaration is made subject to fads and styles and hype, it is trivialized, not made pertinent.
And so, it is a commentary on the shallow cultural mores of Evangelicals that the primary concern over a *film* is its prominence as an evangelical tool. Oh, Evangelicals don't like it, and even many Calvinist Evangelicals will say I am being too narrow, but in the Bible, there is only ONE evangelistic tool that is sanctioned and blessed by God, and that is the forthright preaching of the Gospel. God is pleased by the foolishness of preaching to spread Christianity to every land.
If THE PASSION had no more effectiveness as an evangelistic tool than a bottle of shoe polish, that's fine, because THE PASSION is an artistic work. And many Evangelicals may think such a remark diminishes the weight of serious consideration and reflection that THE PASSION gave so many of us. But the reverse is true. When I recognize that THE PASSION is a work of art, then as a Christian I am freed to enjoy it as a part of human expression and heartfelt response to what Christ did for us. It remains the moving, thought provoking, uplifting declaration of the magnificence of Christ's suffering. When I try to make it do what a sermon has been intended to do, I start putting it in a context where it is less appreciated and less powerful, and it will soon vanish from the scene.
What I am saying leads to this conclusion: Barna shows that THE PASSION had only limited effect as an evangelistic tool. Well, so what? We can relegate it, in terms of being an evangelistic tool, to that big cabinet full of other only-slightly successful evangelistic tools: gospel comic books, "I Found It" buttons, finding out you have cancer, graffiti on overpasses that say "God Loves You, John 3:16," etc. A lot of incidentals have been used by God to bring people to Christ. But the reliance of our expectations must be on the straightforward preaching of the Gospel. THAT is the means God has ordained to spread Christianity. Conversion of the soul does not come about by emotional high or low, or intellectual recognition, but by the work of the Holy Spirit.
On the other hand, as a cinematic work of art, THE PASSION has made a lasting and profound statement about the meaning and significance of the passion of our Saviour. Evangelicals just need to get clear about what makes a work of art significant, and it's not (and never will be) the evangelistic impact of the art. That's what Preaching is for. Art is for something else.
[The reference to Barna is taken from The Jolly Blogger]
Somebody named George Barna has concluded that the movie, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST has had only a limited evangelical impact. How like Evangelicals that even a great work of art is evaluated for its evangelism! For decades, Evangelicals have run after many forms of expression and every latest fad to try to pin it to Christianity and thereby make Christianity more pertinent, more timely, more young and daring and extremely cool. In this massive effort they have, of course, obscured the very timeliness and pertinence of Christianity. When the greatest doctrines of human existence, and that which is spread across the heavens in bold and unending declaration is made subject to fads and styles and hype, it is trivialized, not made pertinent.
And so, it is a commentary on the shallow cultural mores of Evangelicals that the primary concern over a *film* is its prominence as an evangelical tool. Oh, Evangelicals don't like it, and even many Calvinist Evangelicals will say I am being too narrow, but in the Bible, there is only ONE evangelistic tool that is sanctioned and blessed by God, and that is the forthright preaching of the Gospel. God is pleased by the foolishness of preaching to spread Christianity to every land.
If THE PASSION had no more effectiveness as an evangelistic tool than a bottle of shoe polish, that's fine, because THE PASSION is an artistic work. And many Evangelicals may think such a remark diminishes the weight of serious consideration and reflection that THE PASSION gave so many of us. But the reverse is true. When I recognize that THE PASSION is a work of art, then as a Christian I am freed to enjoy it as a part of human expression and heartfelt response to what Christ did for us. It remains the moving, thought provoking, uplifting declaration of the magnificence of Christ's suffering. When I try to make it do what a sermon has been intended to do, I start putting it in a context where it is less appreciated and less powerful, and it will soon vanish from the scene.
What I am saying leads to this conclusion: Barna shows that THE PASSION had only limited effect as an evangelistic tool. Well, so what? We can relegate it, in terms of being an evangelistic tool, to that big cabinet full of other only-slightly successful evangelistic tools: gospel comic books, "I Found It" buttons, finding out you have cancer, graffiti on overpasses that say "God Loves You, John 3:16," etc. A lot of incidentals have been used by God to bring people to Christ. But the reliance of our expectations must be on the straightforward preaching of the Gospel. THAT is the means God has ordained to spread Christianity. Conversion of the soul does not come about by emotional high or low, or intellectual recognition, but by the work of the Holy Spirit.
On the other hand, as a cinematic work of art, THE PASSION has made a lasting and profound statement about the meaning and significance of the passion of our Saviour. Evangelicals just need to get clear about what makes a work of art significant, and it's not (and never will be) the evangelistic impact of the art. That's what Preaching is for. Art is for something else.
[The reference to Barna is taken from The Jolly Blogger]
Tolkien in a blender and other bad (and good) ideas
Nanowrimo continues even now as we blog. I have offered to review excerpts of budding novels. So far, I've seen about 30-40 novel openers. Big ideas, genuine artistry, earnest prose all jostle with tripe, porn, and regurgitation over on the nanowrimo web boards. I've classified what I've read as follows:
JRR Tolkien in a blender novel
Yes, regrettably, the Ring trilogy is so huge that inspired writers can actually whirl it around, change the names, and pull out a story they think they have written. Actually, it's just Tolkien in remix. The dead give away is the stilted language and the fact that the narrative never gets into a character's head. Too many movies, especially three certain movies, watched over and over and over, make Jack a bad writer.
Sex has made me what I am today novel
Then there are the writers who are just so proud of having no morals whatsoever, that their delusions have caused them to think that life really is entirely about sex. Therefore, their books are entirely about sex, and their language, even when they are not writing prose, is laced with sexual references. To these writers I say, "Get a life." Most people, once they get past the age of 12-13, stop being overly fascinated with sex and start trying to integrate all the components of life into a meaningful whole. It's about time you did too. I get one or two paragraphs into an excerpt from this category and then stop and tell the writer I don't review these types of stories.
OK, so that's the boring and the ugly. Now for the better and the best:
Talented teen novels
These are novels written by teens. I've seen two that are especially memorable. One is about a typical teenage girl who is so worried about how the most popular girl is picking on her in Chemistry lab that she refuses to humiliate herself by mopping up ether that she just tipped onto the floor. So of course she ends up blowing out the windows in the Chemistry lab by accident. THAT was funny. Another, which I think I have referenced in a previous post, has two kids snowboarding out on the slopes, in a witty, quick intro about youthful friendship.
Horror
I don't read horror, but I have evaluated several horror openers, the best of which was a Chandler-esque tale of a "land of the dead" person who stalks his victims as a private investigator would do. The telling remindd the reader of MALTESE FALCON and LADY IN THE LAKE in style, but there is the added horror component.
Ethnic
Not many of these, but one stands out. Reminiscient of CALL IT COURAGE, it depicts a young Polynesian woman in a small canoe (coracle?), trying to outdistance a boat load of Spanish rowers. She relies on the wind and her knowledge of how to use the waves to their best advantage.
Light Fanciful
In these stories, delightful wizards jostle among humanity, and rather than the lofty Tolkien-esque prose (or doggerel imitations of it), the narrative is ordinary, even modern, bright, and light. Perhaps these writers are imitating Rowling. I don't know because I have never read a Harry Potter book. Butif hey are merely derivative, they are at least easier to read than deep, dark BAD prose.
There are more, of course, but it is time to go to work!
Nanowrimo continues even now as we blog. I have offered to review excerpts of budding novels. So far, I've seen about 30-40 novel openers. Big ideas, genuine artistry, earnest prose all jostle with tripe, porn, and regurgitation over on the nanowrimo web boards. I've classified what I've read as follows:
JRR Tolkien in a blender novel
Yes, regrettably, the Ring trilogy is so huge that inspired writers can actually whirl it around, change the names, and pull out a story they think they have written. Actually, it's just Tolkien in remix. The dead give away is the stilted language and the fact that the narrative never gets into a character's head. Too many movies, especially three certain movies, watched over and over and over, make Jack a bad writer.
Sex has made me what I am today novel
Then there are the writers who are just so proud of having no morals whatsoever, that their delusions have caused them to think that life really is entirely about sex. Therefore, their books are entirely about sex, and their language, even when they are not writing prose, is laced with sexual references. To these writers I say, "Get a life." Most people, once they get past the age of 12-13, stop being overly fascinated with sex and start trying to integrate all the components of life into a meaningful whole. It's about time you did too. I get one or two paragraphs into an excerpt from this category and then stop and tell the writer I don't review these types of stories.
OK, so that's the boring and the ugly. Now for the better and the best:
Talented teen novels
These are novels written by teens. I've seen two that are especially memorable. One is about a typical teenage girl who is so worried about how the most popular girl is picking on her in Chemistry lab that she refuses to humiliate herself by mopping up ether that she just tipped onto the floor. So of course she ends up blowing out the windows in the Chemistry lab by accident. THAT was funny. Another, which I think I have referenced in a previous post, has two kids snowboarding out on the slopes, in a witty, quick intro about youthful friendship.
Horror
I don't read horror, but I have evaluated several horror openers, the best of which was a Chandler-esque tale of a "land of the dead" person who stalks his victims as a private investigator would do. The telling remindd the reader of MALTESE FALCON and LADY IN THE LAKE in style, but there is the added horror component.
Ethnic
Not many of these, but one stands out. Reminiscient of CALL IT COURAGE, it depicts a young Polynesian woman in a small canoe (coracle?), trying to outdistance a boat load of Spanish rowers. She relies on the wind and her knowledge of how to use the waves to their best advantage.
Light Fanciful
In these stories, delightful wizards jostle among humanity, and rather than the lofty Tolkien-esque prose (or doggerel imitations of it), the narrative is ordinary, even modern, bright, and light. Perhaps these writers are imitating Rowling. I don't know because I have never read a Harry Potter book. Butif hey are merely derivative, they are at least easier to read than deep, dark BAD prose.
There are more, of course, but it is time to go to work!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
semicolon.reachcoop.org has posted this link to a terrific article by Mark Steyn, a Canadian who writes for the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph.
I didn't vote for Bush, not because I am not conservative, but because I AM conservative, and I don't think Bush is conservative at all. In the final days before the election, he noticeably softened his stance on opposing gay marriage, trying to push the decision off onto others. He has never done anything about abortion other than talk about how bad it is. And he has gotten us into a war against one country even though we were brutally and shamefully attacked by the government of a different country. Now we are in a war that will cost more American lives, as well as the lives and limbs of Iraqis whose only crime is that they live in Iraq. And the man who admittedly engineered the massacres of 9/11 sits safely on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, making and releasing video tapes for a worldwide audience.
Furthermore, Bush has created a huge deficit and has yet to offer any clear and believable plan on paying it off. If you just turn down the volume on George W. Bush, and you look at his actions, you realize that we have just put Jimmy Carter back into office.
All that having been said, (and btw, I certainly didn't vote for John Kerry, either), the election resulted in some tremendous turnarounds as the mainstream of the USA turned out to be what Europeans call conservative, and I would just call sensible.
Steyn's article interests me because he classifies American "conservatism" as a realistic approach to survival. You really cannot build a society on homosexual marriages and abortion. To continue a society, you have to have children, and they have to be healthy, happy children raised with values that embrace both compassion and courage. And you have to teach them to want to have children and raise those children with values of compassion and courage. And that desire to have and parent children has to be a center point of the society, not an addendum.
Steyn said it way better than I can, but I emphasize the point that even if you put Christian morals aside, you should still recognize that a self-disciplined, educated middle class that invests its time in its children and teaches them to want to have and raise happy children will outlast any other society on earth.
As for George Bush, well now the conservatives have roared and shaken the American election and the pollsters, so Bush will trot out the cowboy hat and Bible. Maybe he will stay in line with genuinely conservative values, or maybe it will be four more years of the conservative song and dance while he continues to execute short sighted, neo-conservative policies that resolve nothing and keep us in debt and at war.
The good news from the election is that there were genuine conservatives elected to office, and so the voice of a more-reasoned and honest conservatism has been preserved in our government.
But the best news is that a large portion of the American population that normally doesn't consider itself conservative voted to preserve a way of life that assures that American society itself can continue as the productive, free, innovative and jovial society that we love.
I didn't vote for Bush, not because I am not conservative, but because I AM conservative, and I don't think Bush is conservative at all. In the final days before the election, he noticeably softened his stance on opposing gay marriage, trying to push the decision off onto others. He has never done anything about abortion other than talk about how bad it is. And he has gotten us into a war against one country even though we were brutally and shamefully attacked by the government of a different country. Now we are in a war that will cost more American lives, as well as the lives and limbs of Iraqis whose only crime is that they live in Iraq. And the man who admittedly engineered the massacres of 9/11 sits safely on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, making and releasing video tapes for a worldwide audience.
Furthermore, Bush has created a huge deficit and has yet to offer any clear and believable plan on paying it off. If you just turn down the volume on George W. Bush, and you look at his actions, you realize that we have just put Jimmy Carter back into office.
All that having been said, (and btw, I certainly didn't vote for John Kerry, either), the election resulted in some tremendous turnarounds as the mainstream of the USA turned out to be what Europeans call conservative, and I would just call sensible.
Steyn's article interests me because he classifies American "conservatism" as a realistic approach to survival. You really cannot build a society on homosexual marriages and abortion. To continue a society, you have to have children, and they have to be healthy, happy children raised with values that embrace both compassion and courage. And you have to teach them to want to have children and raise those children with values of compassion and courage. And that desire to have and parent children has to be a center point of the society, not an addendum.
Steyn said it way better than I can, but I emphasize the point that even if you put Christian morals aside, you should still recognize that a self-disciplined, educated middle class that invests its time in its children and teaches them to want to have and raise happy children will outlast any other society on earth.
As for George Bush, well now the conservatives have roared and shaken the American election and the pollsters, so Bush will trot out the cowboy hat and Bible. Maybe he will stay in line with genuinely conservative values, or maybe it will be four more years of the conservative song and dance while he continues to execute short sighted, neo-conservative policies that resolve nothing and keep us in debt and at war.
The good news from the election is that there were genuine conservatives elected to office, and so the voice of a more-reasoned and honest conservatism has been preserved in our government.
But the best news is that a large portion of the American population that normally doesn't consider itself conservative voted to preserve a way of life that assures that American society itself can continue as the productive, free, innovative and jovial society that we love.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
NaNoWriMo is one week old today!
I am on schedule to reach 50,000 words by the end of the month (though the real challenge will be meeting the quota while at the Doctor Who convention at the end of the month). At this point, STANDARD CHRISTIAN is not as interesting as SECRET RADIO, but I've had some good reminders and ideas over the last two days, and I hope to make changes that will keep it pertinent.
I've been evaluating excerpts by other writers on the NaNoWriMo site. So far I've done about 30 excerpts. My two observations may seem like a paradox, but here they are:
1) I'm amazed at how incredibly bad so many excerpts are, and
2) I'm amazed at how incredibly good so many excerpts are.
In the halls of Doctor Who Fanfiction, I learned that being derivative is a constant threat and enticement to the unwary. And that's the greatest problem in the NaNoWriMo losers category. They are not writing anything new. Rather, they are dredging up and remixing popular books, most notably JRR Tolkien's stuff. They even imitate his language, and so it comes off twice as bad because Tolkien did a better job writing Tolkien than anybody else is going to do. [Derivative Story] + [Hackneyed narrative] = [One Bad Novel]
Yet there are very few of these hopeless stinkers. Many more excerpts fall into one error or the other, but not both. The biggest problem was a good plot told with cliched language and way too much authorial presence. A novel is a drama. It's a drama on paper. It's not a textbook. So if it reads like a textbook (with the author explaining everything), it will be dull, no matter how excellent the ideas. The actors have to play out the story, and they have to impart most of the information to the reader.
Then again, when you consider how many of these people are writing a novel for the first time, I was amazed at how many excerpts were just so good. One young lady had a great opener about two teenagers out on the snowy slopes (guy and girl). It was vivid, fresh, intriguing, and had great realistic detail about snow boarding. Snappy, witty dialogue perfect for teenagers. I was sure this was going to be a great mystery-adventure with these two likable kids. Then she introduced a third character, a guy, and sent it off into a teenybopper romance. I really lectured her. I scolded, and I pleaded. All that talent. A teenybopper romance! D'oh! (slaps forehead.)
One fellow has really captured the Chandler-type narrative for his story, but his main character is a land-of-the-dead type, with only echos in his mind of having once been human. It sounds hokey, but the dark, terse, brooding narrative worked, and it was a frightening and yet a very "film noir" beginning to the book. I really think he can get that published.
The other thing that surprised me was the level of profanity in some stories. Not anything believable either, just blue language strewn around. Nothing replaces tight narrative, not even explosive cuss words. Going for shock is not shocking. It's trite. Even being offensive requires that people take you seriously, and I don't take needless cussing seriously. I think it's merely juvenile.
So it still comes down to the basics of good writing:
A logical and fresh plot
Clear, tight wording with vivid images
Highly individual characters
I am on schedule to reach 50,000 words by the end of the month (though the real challenge will be meeting the quota while at the Doctor Who convention at the end of the month). At this point, STANDARD CHRISTIAN is not as interesting as SECRET RADIO, but I've had some good reminders and ideas over the last two days, and I hope to make changes that will keep it pertinent.
I've been evaluating excerpts by other writers on the NaNoWriMo site. So far I've done about 30 excerpts. My two observations may seem like a paradox, but here they are:
1) I'm amazed at how incredibly bad so many excerpts are, and
2) I'm amazed at how incredibly good so many excerpts are.
In the halls of Doctor Who Fanfiction, I learned that being derivative is a constant threat and enticement to the unwary. And that's the greatest problem in the NaNoWriMo losers category. They are not writing anything new. Rather, they are dredging up and remixing popular books, most notably JRR Tolkien's stuff. They even imitate his language, and so it comes off twice as bad because Tolkien did a better job writing Tolkien than anybody else is going to do. [Derivative Story] + [Hackneyed narrative] = [One Bad Novel]
Yet there are very few of these hopeless stinkers. Many more excerpts fall into one error or the other, but not both. The biggest problem was a good plot told with cliched language and way too much authorial presence. A novel is a drama. It's a drama on paper. It's not a textbook. So if it reads like a textbook (with the author explaining everything), it will be dull, no matter how excellent the ideas. The actors have to play out the story, and they have to impart most of the information to the reader.
Then again, when you consider how many of these people are writing a novel for the first time, I was amazed at how many excerpts were just so good. One young lady had a great opener about two teenagers out on the snowy slopes (guy and girl). It was vivid, fresh, intriguing, and had great realistic detail about snow boarding. Snappy, witty dialogue perfect for teenagers. I was sure this was going to be a great mystery-adventure with these two likable kids. Then she introduced a third character, a guy, and sent it off into a teenybopper romance. I really lectured her. I scolded, and I pleaded. All that talent. A teenybopper romance! D'oh! (slaps forehead.)
One fellow has really captured the Chandler-type narrative for his story, but his main character is a land-of-the-dead type, with only echos in his mind of having once been human. It sounds hokey, but the dark, terse, brooding narrative worked, and it was a frightening and yet a very "film noir" beginning to the book. I really think he can get that published.
The other thing that surprised me was the level of profanity in some stories. Not anything believable either, just blue language strewn around. Nothing replaces tight narrative, not even explosive cuss words. Going for shock is not shocking. It's trite. Even being offensive requires that people take you seriously, and I don't take needless cussing seriously. I think it's merely juvenile.
So it still comes down to the basics of good writing:
A logical and fresh plot
Clear, tight wording with vivid images
Highly individual characters
Picking an Apple
Well, my reliable old laptop, the HP, is slowly dying. I've been nursing it along for the last several weeks. But this weekend it appears to have the death rattle. I can hear the hard drive scraping inside the chassis.
The moment has been prepared for, of course. A couple months ago I had the foresight to buy a new laptop and pull my files over to it as a backup. But the new laptop is an Apple, an iBookG4, which is not the most souped-up model available, but it's very good for my needs. It is a lot more reliable than a PC, more virus-proof, harder to hack, and more efficient in its tasking. I bought it a week or two after Marty Braemer admitted to having recruited a guy to harass me online and Walter Jones, posting as the cross dressing Brother Roger, reminded me how easily other sites have been hacked by pro-Hyles people. Switching to Apple technology seemed like a good protective move, and it is all a tax write-off.
The real problem is out on the web. Blogger, for example, is not very Apple friendly. When I go to the Blogger interface, only half of it shows up. And on the CREATE POST page, the interface does not provide a Title field. There are other little niggles like this on some other web sites, but nothing major.
I'm still getting everything organized in the file system, and of course I am having fun building up my i-tunes catalogue from all my MP3s. And, of course, I am still writing all my blogs.
Well, my reliable old laptop, the HP, is slowly dying. I've been nursing it along for the last several weeks. But this weekend it appears to have the death rattle. I can hear the hard drive scraping inside the chassis.
The moment has been prepared for, of course. A couple months ago I had the foresight to buy a new laptop and pull my files over to it as a backup. But the new laptop is an Apple, an iBookG4, which is not the most souped-up model available, but it's very good for my needs. It is a lot more reliable than a PC, more virus-proof, harder to hack, and more efficient in its tasking. I bought it a week or two after Marty Braemer admitted to having recruited a guy to harass me online and Walter Jones, posting as the cross dressing Brother Roger, reminded me how easily other sites have been hacked by pro-Hyles people. Switching to Apple technology seemed like a good protective move, and it is all a tax write-off.
The real problem is out on the web. Blogger, for example, is not very Apple friendly. When I go to the Blogger interface, only half of it shows up. And on the CREATE POST page, the interface does not provide a Title field. There are other little niggles like this on some other web sites, but nothing major.
I'm still getting everything organized in the file system, and of course I am having fun building up my i-tunes catalogue from all my MP3s. And, of course, I am still writing all my blogs.
