Blog on the Lillypad
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Recent Reviews from Readers
 | Jynx at Christmas (Doctor and Sarah Jane) "I read it and enjoyed it and would be glad to print it were I still doing such things.... It's a good relationship story without wallowing the way some similar fanfic tends to do." from Kevin Parker, who formerly ran a fanzine that specialized in Doctor/Sarah Jane stories. |
 | All in the Mind (Doctor and Liz Shaw) "Great story! Had me wondering all the way through. Half way through I wondered if it was merely a reaction to the anesthesia, but later it didn't appear so. Great concept." from Bryan Fazekas, winemaker, tech guru, and reader of all my stories |
 | Angles of Light (Liz Shaw only) "Just got through Angles of Light, and was thoroughly caught up in it, as is usual with your stories. Given the subject matter, I think the way you tackled it was very clever....Angles...was very bold on your part." from Gary Merchant, the fellow from across the pond who does book covers for me. |
Friday, December 05, 2003
 | Another Fundamentalist Preacher has Fallen |
This man is repentant---anyway, he became repentant when directly confronted. He has stepped down from his ministry, confessed his sin before his church, asked forgiveness of those he has wronged, and appears to be undergoing discipling. I'm sorry (and surprised) at his fall (and no, it was not adultery), but in it there is some welcome sight of a man who truly is repentant and is not trying to hold onto his office and justify himself as so many have done with bravado and arrogance.
Yet, there it is again: the Untouchables are touched by their own frailty and sin. How often at BJU did I hear about PRINCIPLES! Oh, if you live by these principles, young people, your life will be right with God. Oh what crap. (BTW, I did hear a lot of sound doctrine at BJU.) The principles of Christian living had taken over while I was there. As though making a decision to do the right thing has ever, EVER worked for depraved sinners. Give us a new set of rules and we'll just find new ways to break some of them and get around others.
How the chapel platform was elevated, and how much it was praised when I was there. Yet how many men who have stood there are now out of the ministry, ruined by sin; and some have ruined others. And now, many of the people who have pushed principles are fallen into the incredible, bigoted ignorance of the KJVO movement, or outright sin has claimed them in their own strength. Their women didn't wear slacks and their men had short hair. Their young people didn't go to movies, and nobody drank beer. Yet they still fell. They even read their Bibles regularly and were in church three times a week. What principle saves us from what we are? What principle undoes our thinking and our very hearts?
The only principle is grace. Granted, the roadmap of the wisdom of Scripture is excellent and beyond excellent. It shows us that the thinking of man has never changed. It shows us redemption has never faltered. It demonstrates the thinking of God to us as He reasons with us. It gives us the blueprint for happiness. But David himself, though he praised God for the excellence and perfection of the Law, only two or three verses later also mourned because his heart harbored sins that even he didn't recognize or know about himself. By the end of Psalm 19, he has exalted the witness of the stars and the perfection of God's law as perfect testaments of God's righteousness, yet still he turns and pleads with God to hold him back from what he is, because even these two great witnesses cannot do that for him. Only God sustains us in the midst of what we are.
What will I do if God forsakes me for a moment? Or what will I say when I see Him face to face, if He expects me to have lived by the principles that so many of these preachers have laid down for me? My hope in the judgement day is the same hope I have today---that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has atoned for me and purchased for me a position of favor with God. That Christ has committed Himself to work in me and through me to begin a glorious transformation, giving me tastes of heaven here on earth to sustain me in this struggle and battle until I go to be with Him and all my sin is no more.
That's it. That's all we have. And that's everything. Christ is the victory over sin. Nothing else will keep us.
Thursday, December 04, 2003
 | Breakfast of Champions
In spite of a sore throat that had returned on the last day of the convention, I felt pretty good, physically, on Monday morning. A lot of gargling with hot green tea helped. I had an appointment that I'd been looking forward to and wanted to be in good shape for it. |
| The hotel was still silent and sleepy when I left in the cold, windy darkness. I drove for an hour down to Hammond Indiana and found the Cracker Barrel that I had picked out from the internet web site. After a wait of about ten minutes in my warm car, "Smellin Coffee" from the FFF pulled in, followed shortly after by "Speed Racer", and then "Stephan Peters." The place opened up, and we entered. Stephan Peters told me I didn't look at all the way he had imagined, but I never got a chance to ask him what he had supposed I would look like. |  |
 | As for what I expected, my biggest surprise was that Smellin Coffee was not a foot taller than he actually was. And he's not short. But somehow I had a towering football player in mind. I don't even know why. And his moustache surprised me. He wears a style that I would call a Fu Manchu, and I had imagined him (and all the men) to be clean shaven. |
We told our server that we expected three more people, and so she gave us the largest table in the place. Shortly thereafter, browsing and his wife Mrs. browsing came.
The meeting was odd because on one hand I felt that I'd known these people for years. On the other hand, all the tiny formal considerations and carefulness that comes with meeting total strangers were still in place as well. We talked about the Hyles situation, of course, and updated each other on what we knew. Browsing told me a little about the Brent Stevens case that I had not known, but I will not print it here.
Yet in spite of the heavy subject matter, I was amazed at how funny everybody was. Especially browsing and Speed Racer when they played off each other. On the FFF, we are usually serious, careful, and intense. It was odd (and yet very welcome) to see browsing tease Stephan for forgetting his hearing aid and then see Speedy tease browsing for being in the way of the picture taking. Stephan Peters' wife came about thirty minutes later, and our party was complete. I also told them about my trip to the hospital and the doctor's orders.
The other thing that surprised me, and I had not expected to be surprised, was their kindness. I have dealt with the cutting comments (and dealt out many of my own), the snide remarks, and the accusations of the FFF for so long that overall I have forgotten that Christians are supposed to be kind. My own kindness comes by effort and hard work (when I succeed). And so the easy, kindly, good natured kindness of all of them surprised me. And I was surprised at how surprised I was.
 | And the final big surprise was the easy partnership style of both the Peters and the browsings. Both women behaved with a relaxed, happy contentment, as though being out with their husbands on a cold windy morning before dawn was a lovely thing to do, and they really ought to have done it sooner. That subtle happiness and solidarity between the partners of both couples was obvious but not overdone, as natural to them as my sense of humor is to me. Submission gets pounded into Fundamentalist women so much, and adultery is so rampant in Fundamentalism that I forget that there are Christian men who truly love and respect their wives. The calm and happy deportment of Mrs. browsing and Mrs. Peters showed me a world that I have not known (and is largely ignored by Fundamentalist preaching) of being a woman who is treated with respect and kindness all the time. |
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
 | Day Four of the Convention
I opened my eyes that morning and instantly felt a weight of disappointment. The last day! How had it come so fast? I sat up and considered the disappointment of it. But there were a few hours left, so I showered and dressed and went down for breakfast. |
However, the partying the night before had been quite stiff. The hotel cafe was nearly empty. Breakfast was delicious, and then I wandered out to see who was up and about. I stood in line to get my picture taken with the whole group of celebs (Anneke Wills, Frazer Hine, Colin Baker, and Michael Sheard). By noon more people were appearing. I had a salad with a gang of convention friends while they had McDonalds food. A couple people were starting to get symptoms of cold or flu, and my throat was now becoming raw.
I deliberately missed the last session with Frazer and Anneke in the main room. I was surprised at how bad I felt about the convention ending, and being in the last discussion with them would only make me feel worse. By then it was afternoon, so I joined the others at the pub for discussion. They wanted to know what the year of the Monkey (2004) would be like, so I held forth for a while.
In overview, I think that's one thing that surprised me about the Con. From the start, I discussed the Brent Stevens matter more with convention buddies than I have with church people. For one thing, many church people plainly ask me why I am involved in being the voice for a child who was killed nearly 20 years ago. Nobody at the convention asked me that. And many church people find Dave Hyles' list of scandals and broken lives in the churches where he has been on staff to be something to be left unaddressed, not confronted. But nobody at the convention felt that way.
Talking about the IFB-KJVO scandals was not boring to several of the people. One fellow wanted the entire story from start to finish. So I gave it to him as we stood in line to get photos. (He was amazed by it.) Another fellow also asked for more details. Tom was concerned about the effects that the stress has had on my health. And Nick from Milwaukee also listened and asked questions. Their interest, of course, enables me to speak more openly of Christ and Who He really is.
| Kevin Parker asked me not to be offended but told me that he finds many evangelicals to be so sure they have all the right answers that they don't listen---and that includes not listening to hard truths about themselves. And Nick, an avowed agnostic, told me as gently as he could that he has often seen a double standard in Christianity. I welcome these honest remarks. They weren't given in hostility but out of concern for me because these people see that I've put all my heart into speaking on behalf of those people the IFB-KJVO corruption has victimized and will continue to victimize. Obly the strong survive in IFB-KJVO fundamentalism, but Christ came to bind up the broken reeds and encourage the smoking flax to flame brightly. |  |
As the last day drew to its close, I realized that I'd really needed Chicago TARDIS. Somehow my life got away from me, and I let everything get to me and bring me down. And now I have poor health and few friends and almost no opportunities to have fun and just relax. Tom talked to me about getting things turned around. I will, and I'm looking for every opportunity to do so. But I cannot leave Brent's death behind me. I'm not going to take on the world like Ihave done. But Brent was made in the image of God, and Christ died for him. He had dignity, and I am sensitive to the value of that life and that dignity that have been sacrificed to IFB-KJVO pride and corruption.
 | And yet, there is a life to be lived---mine: the gift of our own lives comes to us only once, with no second chances. I like Doctor Who. In fact, I love Doctor Who. And getting together once or twice a year with creative, imaginative, gentle people to swap stories, admire creative endeavours, and share beer and laughter is somethng I hope to do for the next 20 (or 100) years. I'm still nagging Steve Hill and Jennifer Adams Kelley to make a third Doctor fan story. I'm still planning on working on my own audio projects once my throat improves. Some day all of this has to stop because it's only man made and will cease. But until then, I plan to enjoy it for all it's worth. |
 | It's the Convention Report! Day 3
Saturday morning I woke up at five and made good use of the time by stretching on my inversion table, then getting my shower and working on my web log and e-mail. I got down to the hotel cafe by 7:45. I was expecting to run into Tom and Kevin, but they were sleepyheads and didn't show until later. |
I sat down alone. But who else but Michael Sheard, actor from Britain who has played in Doctor Who and just about everything else (including Star Wars), entered and asked to join me. We chatted very convivially for an hour. He is nearly 60 but can pack away a heary English breakfast like a ploughboy. So while I had fruit and then oatmeal, he tucked into eggs on toast, bacom, sausage, hash browns, and hot tea.
| I felt myself to be his host, as this is my country, so I asked him about his home, his family, etc. He's a gracious and engaging man. We chatted away about his daughter in law's expected baby (any day now), his remarkable father (an old fashioned Scottish Presbyterian minister who encouraged him in his dream to act), and his home on the Isle of Wight. At last Tom and Kevin entered, and we asked them to join us. They sat down, and with a group around him, the conversation got a bit more fannish (ie, "Have you ever been in such and such?" and "Did you ever meet so and so?") He answereed our questions with a happy, charming gregariousness. |  |
 | After breakfast I trekked around to the video room, then to the dealer's room, then back to the video room to watch two episodes of CLANGERS. As I came out, I saw that the line for photos with Colin Baker (who played the sixth doctor) was at it's end, with five minutes to spare for getting a photo with him, so I hopped into the line at the very end to get a picture with him. ("Come here beautiful girl!" he exclaimed. I like him more and more every day.) |
My throat and chest started to bother me, so I took a couple hours off to rest in my room. Kathy Sullivan did a dinner run and brought me chicken with broccoli. After a little more rest and quiet my throat felt more open and less dry. So out I went.
Down in the bar, Ed Riggs, his wife Heather, and their friend Jeff were talking, and they invited me to join them. The Bass Ale was great! I started feeling better and better. As always, the crowd around Ed and Heather grew and grew.
The Masquerade was going on, and I skipped that, as did several others. We stayed in our group, talking and laughing. A fellow named Michael R. who has read my fiction met up with me, and I bought him a beer (as promised). Then a group of us drank to Jon Pertwee together. At 8:30 several of us wandered down to the main room to catch an MST version of the THREE DOCTORS. I watched for half an hour.
 | Back upstairs, a woman named Lisa was wearing Jon Pertwee's plaid cape. She had purchased it directly from him during a con years ago when he had sold it for charity. She offered to let me wear it, and I did. That's as close as I've ever gotten to Jon Pertwee, the man who played the Third Doctor.
After that, Michael R. and I wandered up to the room parties. A fellow at the Canadian party was passing out samples of stout for people to try. He was passionate about stout and itwas great to listen to him. But I still don't like stout. And I really tried to like it. |
By now I felt really good, but as always happens when I drink just one or two beers past 7 or 8 o'clock at night, I started to get sleepy. At a little after ten I bid my cronnies good night and retired to my room. From what I understand, just about everybody else went down to the hallway by the registration tables and sang 70's songs until 5:00 a.m.
